… So it must be interesting.
End December 2020, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This was said to me just after Christmas; although as I recall, there was not much Christmas that year.
I slammed my hand into the front door, on my way out to get the diagnosis. My thumb took a whole year to heal.
Cancer mustn’t ever get into your head: indeed, that’s where it does most of the damage. I don’t mean if it’s brain cancer, if course… But otherwise being strong and carrying on with being your best is what makes you bigger.
I had a lumpectomy on one side, then reduction on the other.
I came back to a flat infested with fleas, and insects biting my stitches.
I knew then I had to move out. Unfortunately that means I’m still homeless, because in the eyes of no one in authority, am I a priority case.
No, for that I would have to be disabled, a refugee, pregnant or a mother, addicted to drugs or to alcohol.
I live with the scars healing day by day, month after month. Breasts are smaller, but very decent. Scars will be there forever, to remind me that I have been through that too, as well as the rest.
This happened during lockdown, a very difficult time for many.
I went through this experience alone, unfortunately. But gladly, unlike many other women, I didn’t have to wait for my operations.
Radiation therapy worked awfully for me: the first series had to be stopped because of excruciating pains due to an infection inside the tissue. Those pains carried on for a couple of months. I had to physically carry my breast when I was walking fast, so it wouldn’t hurt.
The second series (a few months later) were also stopped after a session and a half, because of a muscle collapsing onto my lung, which caused my breathing to be difficult.
I spent the night in the A&E, because there were fears about my lungs and my heart.
I was fine in the end; but opted against radiotherapy for ever.
That was MY experience. Good luck with it.
I have been taking tamoxifen (due for the next 5 years), and lots and lots of antioxidants. Garlic, teas, turmeric… you name them, I’ll take them.
A year post operation, my mammogram has come back as normal. Clear. Just seen my surgeon today; to whom I owe a debt of support: planned for the next year, and next February’s scan.
I am surviving this, although doing it alone.
I did enjoy church a lot, in the past. Recent experiences with the Anglican Church have left me void of hope when it comes to Faith in general. I cannot face a church building anymore; when it used to be my haven, my place of refuge, the one place I always turned to in times of distress
I am pretty sure I will get over it at some point. It is very painful now to have no Christian brotherhood as I used to know it; nor friends who are physically close.
I hope and pray that whatever you’re going through, you always see the light; shine and become the better self you deserve to be.
Don’t let the church bugs bite.
Don’t let the idiots win.
Don’t let illness dictate your worth; or your path.
Don’t let enemies of the truth dictate what you will say.
Don’t let indigents steal your self-esteem away from you.
Be your best. Every day. Everywhere.